Life and Love

Life is funny, there are things that we hold within us that we can’t control, love is one of those things. We can’t control love, it is either there or it isn’t. You can’t make it up, you feel it deep in your soul. We can play mind games, trick ourselves, busy our minds, find distractions, but the minute that all slows down I go back to love. And, I am trying to learn to relish that about myself. I don’t immediately go to fear, I go to love. And when I love I try not to edit it, try not to control it, try not to play games with it. I am an open book.
I came back 1 day earlier than the delegation to show up for the baptism of my sister’s baby. In an Irish Catholic family my grandfather Mac always taught us to show up. As a Chicago cop that was doubly true. Showing up for family and those we love is a true gift, that love and loyalty are pieces of my soul and personality that i would not trade for anything. I might get stuck on love and make mistakes, but damn I am trying hard to live in the place of love even when that is damn hard, confusing and right now brings tears of a bit of lonliness in my heart.

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